This weekend was one I will never forget. It was spiritual, eye opening, and all around one giant blessing.
Friday morning I was able to go to the temple and await for a couple friends to exit the temple doors after getting sealed for time and all eternity. I was there to take some wedding pictures for them, so I showed up early and walked the grounds, trying to think of some good spots to take pictures. I thought a lot about what was happening for them on the inside; A sealing is the most important thing to happen in a Mormon's life, its the most precious and the most sacred ordinance inside of the temple. To be sealed for time and all eternity is not only romantic and fairy tale like, but it is real. Gretchen and Dan entered the temple two single people, and came out one flesh, bound together FOREVER. Such a beautiful concept that I never really thought about as intensely as I did as I waited with their family to greet them.
Being a girl, who has had most of her wedding planned since she was like 5,... I get really emotional at weddings. The look on the grooms face when he sees his bride for the first time, the first dance, the toast... As a convert, I now have a different view on marriage and love. Knowing that it lasts forever, gets me more gushy than a gummy bear in the sun. I have known lots of people to get married in the temple. I have seen their wedding photos, ohh-ed and ahh-ed at how beautiful they were together, and moved on... but this was the first experience I had that was closer to home than those in the past.
I have been thinking a lot about the two M's: Marriage or a Mission. I got a revelation of sorts, that I should be doing the best I can to make myself worthy of an eternal companion, and to be patient and keep my eyes open for the man Heavenly Father will bless me with. Women in the church do not have the same amount of pressure as the men do to serve a mission, but for months I have been feeling similar pressure to serve, wanting to take the fire I have inside of me and use it to share the gospel and bring others to Christ. Everyone in my ward tells me I would be such an awesome missionary, and my returned missionary friends cheer me on immensely, hoping I will serve. My heart screams though, because I do not desire to serve as much as I desire to marry in the temple, and raise a family. I pray about this all the time and have received no real answer, until now. I remember my friend Kellie telling me that if I sat down with the prophet and confessed my concerns and worries about the two M's, he would commend me for my desire to serve, but encourage me to carry out my desire to marry and have a family, because as a daughter of God, I have a divine nature to be a mother. A good woman raised that missionary and helped him be worthy of that priesthood... the woman's job is far more important and possibly even more satisfying. I never realized how badly I desire this thing until I felt the love Gretchen and Dan have for each other, and the love God felt for them on that amazing day.
This was the first blessing and tender mercy I was given this weekend.
That evening, I got word an investigator that I had taught a few lessons to, had made the choice to be baptized. The wedding reception wasn't until later so I ran home and got ready for the baptism. It was a weird feeling to be back in the stake center where 3 months and one day prior, I was standing in front of the font taking pictures with the missionaries before I entered the waters of baptism. I felt a very sincere spiritual enlightenment watching someone else start their journey as I did, and it was a tender mercy to be able to think back on my baptism and remember the covenants I made that day. looking back on my baptism photos, I remember not knowing the names of 75% of the people who came to support me, and now they are my best friends. My life has changed so much in 3 months.
On the way home from the reception, after going to dinner and hanging out with some friends, my friend Marie dropped me off at my car and we headed our separate ways. It was about midnight or so, and we all had a long and exciting day. I went home and started to skype my friend Kyle (I will talk about this special guy some other time;)) and began to settle down and relax. My phone rang, and I noticed it was Marie. At 1:20 in the morning, you get a bad vibe when your friend calls you, and my heart really did race. I thought of the two second thought I had when she dropped me off at my car, that something bad was going to happen, and I answered the phone.
Kari, Marie's sister was on the other end, telling me Marie had gotten into a car accident and they were at the hospital. She was alive and okay, lots of bruises and a pretty badly sprained ankle, but she was okay. It was a scary phone call, and when I hung up with Kari I cried. I had always appreciated the friendship I have with Marie. She and I have grown very close, and to think that one of my best friends could have been taken from this earth was very surreal. I said a prayer of gratitude and thanked my God for his watchful eye, and for the protection of the spirit. I really learned in that moment how important my friends are to me, and how much I rely on them for my own strength and comfort. I was able to visit her the next morning and bring her lunch. The hours I spent with her before the accident became that much more precious, and the afternoon I spent with her afterwards was a tender mercy the hand of God gave us. You really never know when it is your time to meet your maker.
What is so crazy about this, is Marie had been searching for a summer job for a few months now, and even what seemed to be very promising positions she was being turned down. On Friday, the day of her accident, she started her new summer job at a child care place that is a 5 minute walk from her home. Heavenly father knew the accident would occur, and gave her a job that did not require the transportation, just two legs and feet to get there. Today, Marie walked to her second day on the job. How great is the grace of the Lord, like seriously!! I have never in my life been more thankful for the gift of the Holy Ghost, or for the priesthood authority the church has. Marie was given a blessing, and I firmly believe that because of the blessing she was able to start the healing process a lot faster, and walk to work. The doctor said she would be in the most pain yesterday, and Marie was already up walking around without a brace or wrap on her foot, and even came tubing with us later.
I awoke this morning with terrible allergies that I cant do anything about because it is spring time, bruises and scratches from my tubing extravaganza,... but I awoke with a "good morning beautiful" text message and a smile on my face. I am constantly reminded how blessed my life is, and how good my life is. I have so much to love and be thankful for. It would be a disgrace if I didn't bear my testimony at this moment and express the love I have for the atonement of Jesus Christ, and my gratitude for the love heavenly Father has for all his children. This gospel is a life saving gospel. It saves the lives of those who convert and enter into it, and it saves the lives of those who live it. God is all around us, and if we allow the spirit to enter our hearts, we will always be able to recognize His grace.
I love my family and friends, I love this gospel, and I love my savior. This is a beautiful life, meant to be lived in joy. I stand as a witness that we are being watched and taken care of. We are in the hands of the most powerful, beautiful, important man and we should trust the Lord fully, with only the intent to carry out his will. "not my will but thine be done."
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