Fan the Flame of your Faith

As the only member of the church in my family, it can be real scary standing up for my beliefs. It is important for converts, life long members and even investigators to not be afraid to stand up for what their heart is telling them is true. The spirit can not be withheld from the truth, and the spirit will never stop guiding us to this truth... take it from me, I was continually called back to the church, even through intense resistance! In order to stand up for what we know to be true, we must have a seed of belief planted within us, and act on that belief every day.

I have had a fear in the back of my mind, that my family would disown me for my decision to join the church, and use it as a tool to bring all my faults to the table, and put them up for show. In all honesty, I did not tell my whole family about my baptism. The last time I did so, I was very easily talked out of it, and I did not want anyone, for any reason to try to convince me not to go through with it this time around. I have always been the type to be sensitive to how everyone perceives me, and I want nothing more than to make everyone I know happy and proud. So, I left it up to facebook and word of mouth to spread the word about my baptism, and even though it probably wasn't how things should have been done, it was what was comfortable. I still am unsure of who all is aware of this big life change, because most of my family has kept their mouths shut. Some family is proud that I have found Christ, and even though they disagree with the church, they can agree that I have a good grasp on who our savior is. Some of my family is in shock, wondering how someone like me became a Mormon, but I know in time everyone will find out and everyone will become use to this idea. My non-member friends have been working on coming around, being sure they don't try to put me in positions where temptation will be strong and hard to resist. All in all, its been pretty smooth, but I know, that it wont always be this way.

I am writing this post based on a couple general conference talks I have heard, about believing, faith, and standing tall.

I first think of the talk by Ann M Dibb, titled, I know it I live it. I love it. This talk gets me fired up every time I listen to it. She talks about a young girl in the grocery store, sporting a t-shirt that says 'I'm a Mormon, are you?'. Any one who knows me well, knows that I want people to know, despite how scary it can be, that I AM A MORMON. I have a nose piercing and a belly button piercing that I am still working towards removing, I have tattoos, and I am a proud convert into the church. My past was a rocky one, and because of it I am proudly standing on the foundation of Christ. Our faith should not be something that we remove at night, around other people, or in uncomfortable situations. Writing this blog, and using social media has been a great outlet for me to over come my fear, and stand tall and firm, as a witness that Christ lives.

It is expedient that we remember that even though we feel alone, God is always by our side, giving us direction, helping us over come anything in our path. After all, He knows us better than we know ourselves, and if we take a shot in the dark, God will make sure we don't trip, or stub our toes on anything (;

My mind wonders to a talk given by Jeffery R Holland titled "Lord, I believe". I was able to be present in the conference center when this talk was given, and I still get goose bumps when I think back to my experience. Jesus said "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him who believeth." Doubt is a necessary part of faith. We all feel small and worthless at times, and wonder if God is really listening. Holland says "In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited..."

We will all have trials that God allows us to face in order for us to grow. For me, the trial I am over coming right now is getting rid of Satan's attempts to place me in fear to stand up for the church and its divinity. It is of the upmost importance to hold on tightly to what you already know is true, have faith Jesus has not left your side, and wait patiently for the storm to blow over. Holland continues to say, "The size of your faith or degree of your knowledge is not the issue-it is the integrity you demonstrate toward the faith you do have and the truth you already know." Jesus said that the fruit of living the gospel will be evident in the lives of latter day saints everywhere, and I know this is true. Why do you think we are so happy all the time?! living the gospel faithfully has set me, and many other saints free, and I must be clear that all of us who are faithfully trying to live the gospel the best we can, are indeed, walking by faith, not by sight. Sometimes walking by faith is difficult, scary, and often shakes the very core of our logic.

I am here to bear my testimony, that a small belief will turn into faith that can not be brought down. I work hard to know the truth and grow closer to my Heavenly Father. I know this gospel has been restored to its fullness through Joseph Smith, and it takes a lot of faith to know this is true. Acting upon a small belief and inkling rising from your heart, will only lead you to the truth. If your faith is being tested, lean on my faith! My faith is strong and steadfast, literally unmovable. Stand up with me and pray to God for the confidence to stand as His witness. It doesn't matter who disagrees, or who resists, your salvation is not dependent on them. No one is perfect. NO ONE. And that is why this church is so beautiful. Any one can be forgiven, any one can come to know Christ like I have. Elder Holland says something in the talk mentioned that I just love:
"belief is a precious word, and even more a precious act"
Jesus Christ himself told us in Mark 5:36, "...Be not afraid, only believe." Through faith in Jesus Christ anything is possible, even over coming my fear of standing up for myself and what I know to be true.

Growing in your faith and becoming fully converted unto the Lord takes time, patience, willingness to dedicate yourself to the gospel, and at the very least, belief. I can testify that acting on that belief will lead you places you never thought you would be. I find myself stomping my feet on the ground of Christ with my arms crossed, unwilling to face any other way than God's way. Yes, I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it. I am proud of my faith, proud of my decision to be baptized, and I will always remember that I am not alone, and neither are you.

Walk by faith, not by sight, trust in the Lord, and fan the flame of your faith. Stand as a witness to God at all times and in all things and in all places.

Thought or Prompting? Let the Spirit be your guide!

When I first received the Holy Ghost, I was getting all kinds of promptings to give people the Book of Mormon, tell someone I love them, invite them to come to the temple with me, and so on so fourth. Nothing was coming from any of this, and I was getting discouraged. I started to think that I was taking the first thought to pop in my head, and running with it. I was praying and asking Heavenly Father to reveal to me how I best receive promptings so I can truly obey them. I was really convinced that I was not as in tune with the spirit as I originally thought I was, and I did not understand how the spirit worked.

Anyone who carries this spirit with them knows that it can be different for everyone. Joseph Smith received visions on a regular basis, some hear a voice (most without the 24/7 companionship of the spirit call it their conscious), and some just get a little inkling. I have had dreams, heard that still small voice, and had inklings! So what was wrong with me!? I was responding immediately to the promptings and thoughts I was getting, isn't that what we are supposed to do?

When talking with a friend, and a spiritual confidant, she explained the spirit and its promptings in a way I will always remember.
Are you faithfully living the gospel and following the commandments? Are you sincerely praying and studying your scriptures? Then do not worry about if it is a thought or prompting. Your foot steps are already being guided by the Holy Ghost, and if you are doing these things, it doesn't matter, your spirit already knows to obey!

I needed the reassurance that everything I was doing was for the good of the people around me, and I knew that to stop obeying the promptings and thoughts that came into my head, could be something I regret.

While in the church history museum in Utah, I ran into a woman who knew President Thomas S Monson very well while the was in the first presidency (he happened to be a very good family friend). She told me a story about him responding to a prompting he received.

This woman's mother was very old, and in a nursing home. Her health was getting worse, and fast. One Friday afternoon, Monson was in a mission meeting, and right in the middle packed up and said "you can handle this yourselves, right?" Everyone looked at him puzzled, not knowing why he was going to just pick up and leave in the middle of an important meeting, but everyone agreed to take over, and let him leave without a worry. Monson drove to the nursing home to visit with this woman's mother. They talked and laughed, and before he left he gave her a blessing to feel comfort and love. The following Monday, the dear old woman passed away.

The family had asked Monson to speak at her funeral, and when he arrived, they asked him how he knew to go visit her and give her a blessing. He responded, "I have learned to respect the promptings I receive from the Holy Ghost, and to act with immediacy. God told me to go visit her, and I obeyed."

What a great example Thomas S Monson gave me! The word respect in that story gets me. We aren't given promptings and guidance from the spirit for our own amusement. It warns us when danger is near, it guides us to people who need us, and gives us opportunities to better ourselves and those around us. We must respect the gift we have been given; after all the gift of the Holy Ghost is one of the greatest gifts we have, and it is a wonderful example of Christs love for us! He blesses us with the spirit to give us the direction we need, without it following the commandments and living the gospel faithfully would be a lot more difficult.

I pray every day and ask Heavenly Father to allow me to be a tool in His hands, and I ask him to allow the Holy Ghost to direct me to souls who need my help. This week I can think of 3 different instances where I was a tool in His glorious hands. I was given promptings that I didn't even think twice about. I responded quickly, without wondering if it was just a thought of my own creation or a divine moment of guidance. In all 3 cases, I was able to show God's love for these people through my words. I spoke from the heart, and was able to help bring comfort to these people who needed reassurance of God's immeasurable love for them as individuals.

There is a scripture that I think of, that expresses my recent ability to use my words as a way to speak Gods love for all his children:


Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I know that if ye shall follow the Son, with full purpose of heart, acting no hypocrisy and no deception before God, but with real intent, repenting of your sins, witnessing unto the Father that ye are willing to take upon you the name of Christ by baptism yea, by following your Lord and your Savior down into the water, according to his word, behold, then shall ye receive the Holy Ghost; yea then cometh the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost; and then can ye speak with the tongue of angels, and shout praises unto the Holy one of Israel.-- 2 Nephi 31:14

The Holy Ghost allows us to speak with the tongue of angels, and speak to other souls with the grace and tender mercy of our Heavenly Father. This week I have learned that if I live, if WE faithfully live the gospel, and are following ALL of the commandments, we will be a tool in our Fathers hands.Our lives will be blessed through obeying the spirit and its promptings, and our hearts will swell with joy.

I am thankful for the guidance of the Spirit, and for the ability my spirit has to speak with the tongue of angels and give comfort and love to those that need it.

I hope each of you prayerfully ask God to bless you like I have been blessed, because the experience I have gotten can not be put into words... the spirit is an incredible gift, and I know that following its promptings, no matter how small they may seem, will greatly benefit yourself as well as others. Remember being in service to your fellow people is being in service of our God. Ignoring a prompting is ignoring Gods direction, and you never know who is praying to receive Gods love.

A tale of two Testimonies: My first Utah and General Conference Experience

Salt Lake City Temple

I was blessed with the opportunity to attend General Conference in Salt Lake City Utah. For those who do not know what general conference is, it is when the Prophet, the 12 apostles and the rest of the general authorities gather together to reveal modern day revelation, and give incredible insight to the world! It is a powerful thing. I was lucky to be able to attend all 4 sessions of the conference, and I was blown away with how STRONG the spirit is, especially when you get to see the prophet stand up and speak to the world. I may or may not have balled like a baby when this happened...
Anyway, I flew in from Denver a few days early to re unite with some friends I haven't seen in a long time, and do some touring! While during my time there my testimony as a whole strengthened, but I would like to touch base on a couple things that really hit home for me.

I called this post a tale of two testimonies because I gained such a testimony for missionary work, and the power of bearing your testimony to EVERYONE every chance you get. So I will begin my story well... from the beginning.

1. BE A MISSIONARY! "if you're not a full-time missionary with a missionary badge pinned on your coat, now is the time to paint one on your heart--painted, as Paul said 'not with ink, but with the spirit of the living God'"- Elder Neil L Anderson general conference April 2013


Before I left for Utah I grabbed a stack of mormon.org cards,  wrote "ask and ye shall recieve, knock and it shall be made known unto you" on the back. I made it my goal to pass out every card before I got on the airplane. I put cards on the table where I ate, on the counters at gift shops and in bathrooms, phone booths and even the seat where I waited to board the plane

2. ALWAYS BEAR YOUR TESTIMONY!  Whether it is to a member of the church, a friend or even a stranger. You never know who the Lord has prepared for you, you never know who needs you and who is struggling. Your testimony can be the guiding light to bring others unto Christ.


I have such a testimony of missionary work, and it only grew larger as I walked through temple square on a very rainy morning. My friends had sent me off by myself (I promise it is not as horrible as it sounds) to tour temple square a second time while they were working and going to class. I was wondering around trying to find some shelter to keep myself from becoming drenched, when two sister missionaries with umbrellas came running up to me. I asked them when the temple gates opened, and that some how that led to me telling them about myself and my conversion story. I began to passionately bear my testimony for the church, not excluding any details of everything that I knew to be true. they told me how thankful they were to have met with me, and how grateful they were for the prompting from the holy ghost to come shield me from the rain with their umbrellas. Even though Utah is the place where the most amount of baptisms occur, being a missionary is hard. They said they needed to hear the testimony of a newly converted member, and see the bright spirit that I carried. They began to tell me the week had been a rough one for them, getting doors slammed in their face while tracting, and they began to loose some hope. I began to tell them how much I loved the missionaries that have taught me and are still currently meeting with me, and I reminded them the best that I could, that the Lord has prepared people for them to teach, they just needed to be patient.

I think back to catching a glimpse of Elder Anderson through the window of my neighbors apartment as they taught the new members living inside, and getting such a strong prompting to contact the missionaries one more time. I think back to the many sets of missionaries who had taught me before, or who I never got the chance to meet because I ignored their knocks. I know I was not ready or in the right place in my life to follow through with the first two baptism dates I had set, but I also have such a belief that I was one of the people prepared for Elder Anderson and Elder Pedro, and I am one of the reasons they came to Colorado, to teach me, and show me the way.

 Someone once told me that is takes an average of 7 times for someone to hear the gospel or investigate the church before they become committed. If we as members of the church did our job and gave missionaries referrals, told our friends and invited them to church, and bore our testimony every chance we got, imagine how much more efficient the missionary work would be? It is our obligation to share the gospel with everyone we know. Part of being a missionary can be as simple as offering one words of encouragement and love, helping someone who needs it, and by being a deciple of Jesus Christ. I always think, how many times was I made aware of the church before committing myself to becoming converted unto the Lord, and making those covenants we make at baptism? I can count several times actually, because I had several friends who were members of the church, giving me great examples, and I never made the connection. I remember the first night I met with Elder Anderson and let him teach me the lesson. His testimony was burned into my heart, and I will never forget the spirit I could see in his eyes, testifying of the truth.

Missionary work is important, and you do not have to wear a name tag in order to be a missionary. Without my missionaries and their sacrifice, I would be sitting in a dark and lonely abyss, hoping for someone to come turn on the light switch! I am living proof that missionary work is divine, necessary, and such a great example of the Love Christ has for all his children. However, one can not be a missionary, with a tag or not, without a testimony and with no spirit to guide their teachings. So I challenge you to to ask Heavenly Father to bring you to people who need you, who need the gospel and the light of Christ in their lives. He is preparing people who will be receptive to your testimony and will gladly bless you with the opportunity to bear your testimony and serve your fellow brothers and sisters. So go, go be a missionary, spread the gospel, and share your testimony! You will feel its power and your own testimony will strengthen just by doing so.

I testify that sharing the gospel with everyone you know is meant to strengthen your testimony of the church. I testify that the spirit can not be withheld from the truth and will shine ever so brightly when you be a 'missionary' and share the gospel. I know that this church can bring such joy and enlightenment to everyone's lives because God loves his children so much, and He wants  us to be happy. The love of Christ is the most amazing love imaginable, and if we allow the spirit to guide us we will share the love with others. Heavenly Father has prepared people to cross our paths, and I know that if we pray and ask God to bless us with the open hearts we need to be receptive, we will be  given the blessing to share this wonderful gospel with the souls who need it. I say these things in the name of the Son, Jesus Christ, AMEN!

My conversion story: Never look back

I have been inspired to write a church blog, and keep record of the blessings my life has been given and the changes I have made since I was baptized on February 23rd, 2013. My life will NEVER be the same, and I haven't regretted a single second of my choice to become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I thought telling my conversion story would be a good place to start, although so much has happened, and I will probably explode with blog posts!

In November 2010 I began investigating the church on my own, using Google as my main source. Ladies and gentleman, I don't recommend this, lots of the information is false, and will make the church look weird and strange, when in fact, it is beautiful and wonderful. Any questions you have I recommend you try mormon.org or lds.org, and if those don't fit to your liking I have a couple friends I can send your way willing to answer all your questions! Anyway, I had been researching some of what the church teaches, looking up different temples and admiring their beauty, and getting sparked with curiosity every way I turned. I finally requested missionaries to come visit me (one of the many awesome things found on mormon.org) and I began getting lessons.

At this point in time in my life, I was 17, in an abusive relationship, and stuck in my own mess of life. I was looking for an outlet and the teachings of the church really intrigued me! The missionaries gave me a Book of Mormon and I began to read it after they left my home one day. I immediately felt the spirit testify of the truth and divinity of this book (although I did not recognize this at the time) but stopped reading because it was 'too hard'. I remember praying for God to reveal the truth to me like the missionaries had told me to do, but I later learned that when seeking the truth, reading the Book of Mormon and praying go hand in hand, you can not just do one without the other, or you will never learn of the truth. I remembered the feeling I got when reading the first portion of the book and held on to that feeling, and continued to meet with the missionaries. I  had even gone to church once or twice, but I left early to keep any of my family from knowing where I was.

Not too much longer after that I had set a date to be baptized, having convinced myself that it was not that big of a deal, and keeping my choice to myself was okay. I have always been independent, doing things alone without the influence of others. It came to a head pretty quickly though, and I knew I had to tell my friends and family. I backed out of this first date, after being convinced by some family members that it was wrong and the members of the church, although very nice and successful people, were lead astray. Along with that, the stupid boy friend at the time threatened to leave me, and said he would never support this decision. They (missionaries and members of the church) warn you that when you know the church is true and you move forward to baptism, the devil will do anything in his power to keep you from that joy and because he is so darn clever, he succeeded!

After that I remember ignoring the knocks on the door when the missionaries came to visit, yet, walking around with the knowledge I had of the gospel and sharing what I knew with other people, because even then I KNEW, I just didn't know how to handle it yet. I began to go back to my research, once again being called back to the church. I would take my camera and photograph the Denver temple and walk the grounds all the time. I yearned to feel that spirit and knew that this was the only way I could. The missionaries came back, and started to re teach me the lessons, encouraging me to pray and read. This time I tried to read, thinking I did it all wrong last time. Once again I did receive some sort of answer, because I was praying and I knew someone was listening, but I had given up reading again and nothing struck me with the truth. I still felt the need to try and once more, set ANOTHER baptism date. My life was consumed with darkness at this time, and it was real easy to let Satan grab a hold of me and lead me other places. Things with the boyfriend started to get better, I found a job, and I thought to myself I don't need the church, I just need to be patient and things will start to come around!". So I started to ask the missionaries questions about things I had heard, things that were NOT true, and even when they gave good, plausible explanations, I still felt that the research I had done was true and this church was NUTS! Again, I must express that this was WAY before I did grasp the truth, and I highly suggest going to church ran sites for your information, or talking with the missionaries.
 So I backed out of two baptism dates, ignored the promptings I had to continue to learn about the church, and went back to my life.

After I had finished school, found a job, and had broken up with that nasty boyfriend of mine, I finally started to clear my head of all the darkness and pain that had consumed me for so long.
 December 2012, I had came home from work one day to see a pair of missionaries walk into the apartment of the neighbors who had moved in not too long ago. By this time I was 20 years old and had grown leaps and bounds from where I was when I first began to become converted. It took me a couple weeks of seeing them in and out of the apartment, and lots of promptings to try just ONE more time to talk with the missionaries. One time I saw them go inside and I made it a goal to wait until I heard them leave, catch them and try to talk to them. So I sat in my living room with my Book of Mormon in my hand (I still hadn't read more than a couple pages) waiting to hear them leave. I then heard them come out, say their good byes, and my heart started to pound. How crazy am I? I thought. I am about to chase them down, just to talk to them... So after calming myself down I opened my door and saw them get into their car. I went up the stairs, stood half way between my door and their car and stared them down. Do I go? Do I turn around and go back home? Do I tap on the window like a crazy person and ask to talk to them? I remembered how I requested the missionaries the first time, and went on to mormon.org and requested they come visit me. 

The following Monday, Elder Anderson (the one who I kept seeing through the window) and a member of the church in a family ward stood at my door, and I said "hello elder! please come in!" I was so happy they came. Elder Anderson and I talked about my story, I told him about the boyfriend and the family that had tried to convince me not to be baptized, and allowed him to teach me the first lesson. We set a baptism date for March 3rd, 2013, just in case. I promised I would Pray AND read, and find for myself the church was true, and if I did that I would receive an answer that baptism was the way to go. THAT NIGHT I did both things, and in an instant I knew I needed to join the church and I shouldn't delay any longer. I texted Elder Anderson the next day and asked him to come back and teach me the next lesson, I met his new companion Elder Pedro and as soon as I got them through the door I told them about the experience I had while praying and reading. I then said "lets move the baptism date up... when is the soonest?" And we picked February 23rd, 2013 at noon. 

Elder Anderson and I in front of the baptismal font ^ and Elder Anderson, me and Elder Pedro who confirmed me v

Since then, I have grown so much as a person. I have made a bunch of friends, got a church calling as ward missionary, gone to all 4 sessions of general conference (and that is HUGE ill share next post about that experience) and I am now getting ready for my patriarchal blessing (This experience is coming up THIS WEEK and I am so excited). 

Before, prayer was a hard thing for me to do. I felt embarrassed praying with the missionaries, and avoided eye contact with people in church so I wouldn't be asked to do an opening or closing prayer. I couldn't even keep my eyes closed! Now, prayer flows from my heart and lips as easy as water does from a faucet. I pray everywhere, all the time, making sure I begin my mornings on my knees, and ending my day once again, on my knees.

This was the best decision I have made in my entire life. I cant think of a time where I have ever been so happy, and that, my friends, is what knowing the truth does for you. 
I have been brought out of darkness and into the most radiant light I have ever seen and felt. I glow with the light of Christ every day, and I let the spirit guide my steps at every turn. 

There is a scripture I learned of the day I was baptized that I would like to share to end this post. It goes to show that through darkness and sadness, the gospel of Jesus Christ will be your rock and your light. It is one of my favorites: 

"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall"-- Helaman 5:12

I am now building on Christ, and I will never look back.