This weekend was one I will never forget. It was spiritual, eye opening, and all around one giant blessing.
Friday morning I was able to go to the temple and await for a couple friends to exit the temple doors after getting sealed for time and all eternity. I was there to take some wedding pictures for them, so I showed up early and walked the grounds, trying to think of some good spots to take pictures. I thought a lot about what was happening for them on the inside; A sealing is the most important thing to happen in a Mormon's life, its the most precious and the most sacred ordinance inside of the temple. To be sealed for time and all eternity is not only romantic and fairy tale like, but it is real. Gretchen and Dan entered the temple two single people, and came out one flesh, bound together FOREVER. Such a beautiful concept that I never really thought about as intensely as I did as I waited with their family to greet them.
Being a girl, who has had most of her wedding planned since she was like 5,... I get really emotional at weddings. The look on the grooms face when he sees his bride for the first time, the first dance, the toast... As a convert, I now have a different view on marriage and love. Knowing that it lasts forever, gets me more gushy than a gummy bear in the sun. I have known lots of people to get married in the temple. I have seen their wedding photos, ohh-ed and ahh-ed at how beautiful they were together, and moved on... but this was the first experience I had that was closer to home than those in the past.
I have been thinking a lot about the two M's: Marriage or a Mission. I got a revelation of sorts, that I should be doing the best I can to make myself worthy of an eternal companion, and to be patient and keep my eyes open for the man Heavenly Father will bless me with. Women in the church do not have the same amount of pressure as the men do to serve a mission, but for months I have been feeling similar pressure to serve, wanting to take the fire I have inside of me and use it to share the gospel and bring others to Christ. Everyone in my ward tells me I would be such an awesome missionary, and my returned missionary friends cheer me on immensely, hoping I will serve. My heart screams though, because I do not desire to serve as much as I desire to marry in the temple, and raise a family. I pray about this all the time and have received no real answer, until now. I remember my friend Kellie telling me that if I sat down with the prophet and confessed my concerns and worries about the two M's, he would commend me for my desire to serve, but encourage me to carry out my desire to marry and have a family, because as a daughter of God, I have a divine nature to be a mother. A good woman raised that missionary and helped him be worthy of that priesthood... the woman's job is far more important and possibly even more satisfying. I never realized how badly I desire this thing until I felt the love Gretchen and Dan have for each other, and the love God felt for them on that amazing day.
This was the first blessing and tender mercy I was given this weekend.
That evening, I got word an investigator that I had taught a few lessons to, had made the choice to be baptized. The wedding reception wasn't until later so I ran home and got ready for the baptism. It was a weird feeling to be back in the stake center where 3 months and one day prior, I was standing in front of the font taking pictures with the missionaries before I entered the waters of baptism. I felt a very sincere spiritual enlightenment watching someone else start their journey as I did, and it was a tender mercy to be able to think back on my baptism and remember the covenants I made that day. looking back on my baptism photos, I remember not knowing the names of 75% of the people who came to support me, and now they are my best friends. My life has changed so much in 3 months.
On the way home from the reception, after going to dinner and hanging out with some friends, my friend Marie dropped me off at my car and we headed our separate ways. It was about midnight or so, and we all had a long and exciting day. I went home and started to skype my friend Kyle (I will talk about this special guy some other time;)) and began to settle down and relax. My phone rang, and I noticed it was Marie. At 1:20 in the morning, you get a bad vibe when your friend calls you, and my heart really did race. I thought of the two second thought I had when she dropped me off at my car, that something bad was going to happen, and I answered the phone.
Kari, Marie's sister was on the other end, telling me Marie had gotten into a car accident and they were at the hospital. She was alive and okay, lots of bruises and a pretty badly sprained ankle, but she was okay. It was a scary phone call, and when I hung up with Kari I cried. I had always appreciated the friendship I have with Marie. She and I have grown very close, and to think that one of my best friends could have been taken from this earth was very surreal. I said a prayer of gratitude and thanked my God for his watchful eye, and for the protection of the spirit. I really learned in that moment how important my friends are to me, and how much I rely on them for my own strength and comfort. I was able to visit her the next morning and bring her lunch. The hours I spent with her before the accident became that much more precious, and the afternoon I spent with her afterwards was a tender mercy the hand of God gave us. You really never know when it is your time to meet your maker.
What is so crazy about this, is Marie had been searching for a summer job for a few months now, and even what seemed to be very promising positions she was being turned down. On Friday, the day of her accident, she started her new summer job at a child care place that is a 5 minute walk from her home. Heavenly father knew the accident would occur, and gave her a job that did not require the transportation, just two legs and feet to get there. Today, Marie walked to her second day on the job. How great is the grace of the Lord, like seriously!! I have never in my life been more thankful for the gift of the Holy Ghost, or for the priesthood authority the church has. Marie was given a blessing, and I firmly believe that because of the blessing she was able to start the healing process a lot faster, and walk to work. The doctor said she would be in the most pain yesterday, and Marie was already up walking around without a brace or wrap on her foot, and even came tubing with us later.
I awoke this morning with terrible allergies that I cant do anything about because it is spring time, bruises and scratches from my tubing extravaganza,... but I awoke with a "good morning beautiful" text message and a smile on my face. I am constantly reminded how blessed my life is, and how good my life is. I have so much to love and be thankful for. It would be a disgrace if I didn't bear my testimony at this moment and express the love I have for the atonement of Jesus Christ, and my gratitude for the love heavenly Father has for all his children. This gospel is a life saving gospel. It saves the lives of those who convert and enter into it, and it saves the lives of those who live it. God is all around us, and if we allow the spirit to enter our hearts, we will always be able to recognize His grace.
I love my family and friends, I love this gospel, and I love my savior. This is a beautiful life, meant to be lived in joy. I stand as a witness that we are being watched and taken care of. We are in the hands of the most powerful, beautiful, important man and we should trust the Lord fully, with only the intent to carry out his will. "not my will but thine be done."
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Friday, May 3, 2013
The temple: Home Sweet Home
I must start to say, I love the temple. I go to the temple twice a week, I will spend an hour or so inside, and if the weather is nice, I will spend time reading my scriptures, soaking up the spirit, and basking in the peace the temple brings my soul. I have been blessed to be living so close to a temple, and I always feel such sadness for the people who must travel such a long distance to make it there. Therefore, I make sure I take full advantage of the blessings the temple has to offer.
Anyone who has simply walked the grounds of the temple knows, that it has such a calming effect on your spirit. Its quiet, and the architecture is uniquely beautiful. I have had times, where I was feeling so anxious, upset, and sometimes angry, and the temple was the only place I could find refuge. I walk inside, and I forget every negative feeling, and automatically feel so at peace, and that is a real testimony to me; You know you are in the spirit of the Lord when nothing seems to be problematic in your life, even the worst of things. It is within the walls of the temple I have received revelation Yes, real revelation from my Heavenly Father, telling me where to go and what to do next. Some of the most intense prayer I have ever experienced has been inside of the temple, and I always feel as though I am God's object of infinite devotion. Being worthy of the temple brings me the greatest joy I have ever experienced, it is at the temple where I learn more about my Heavenly Father, and grow closer to him.
This week has been a rough one, I did not think I was going to make it. Between work, and outside influences trying to crush and disprove the gospel that I love so much, my spirit was feeling defeated and low.
I haven't been able to go to the temple yet this week, so I feel that extra urge to share a story that always reminds me of Gods love, and the importance of the temple.
Just a few days before I received my patriarchal blessing, I was feeling nervous and anxious. I did not know what to expect, and I was excited to receive the answers and guidance I was praying so diligently for. I had been praying for comfort, and for ways to make me feel less anxious about my blessing, and I also had been praying for things that I thought weren't even making their way to God's ears. I wanted confirmation that He does listen, and He does answer.
I had been getting promptings for a couple days to call the temple and tell them I was coming, but I was ignoring them. I had no gas in the car to make the 20 mile trip, no money to fill it up, nor did I think I had the time. Then, as I was standing in the line to pay for my things at Khols, a voice came to me really loud, and it was not my voice, telling me "Go to the temple." I just shook my head to myself like, whoa that was weird... and went on with other things flooding my head. Just a few seconds later the voice came again, "Go to the temple." I was thinking to myself all the reasons I shouldn't go, and once again ignored the prompting. I was next in line to pay for my things, and the voice came again, and this time it practically yelled at me. "GO TO THE TEMPLE!!" So, I looked at the cashier loading a bunch of stuff from the person in front of me, and decided I could call and see if anything was open. Sure enough they had one spot at 3:00. I agreed I would be there, and rushed out of khols to go home and change. Its about a 36 minute drive to get to the temple from my apartment, and I was 15 extra minutes away where I was shopping. So I stepped on it, praying the whole way and telling Heavenly Father that if He needed me at the temple today, He had to help me make it happen.
By the time I changed into my temple clothes and made it back into my car, it was 2:40. I was feeling even more anxious then before! I just kept praying, and jumped onto the highway. Then, my gas light turns on. Feeling a bit frustrated, and wondering why on earth God has the sense of humor He does, I began to pray again, telling Him stopping for gas was not a possibility until after the temple, and that if He needs me at the temple, He needs to help me make this happen. The prayer was answered immediately and I kid you not, the arm ticker thing lifted up, just enough, and the gas light went off. OFF! And let me tell you, the gas light comes on and stays on in this car, it doesn't change its mind. I have never seen it go off unless gas was put into the car, and the timing was just too unreal!
I made it to the temple at 3:06, not too late at all. I walked in, and one of the temple workers said to me "We knew you would be a little late, and something told us not to start without you." I didnt realize at the time, but God communicated with them, and was watching my back. It blows my mind when I think back to the look on the guys face when He told me this. He received a promoting from the spirit, telling him to hold off starting the session until I arrived, and he was just as shocked as I was when the gas light went off; there was a reason I was at the temple that day.
Nothing out of the norm happened at the temple that day. We did our thing, and I reluctantly walked out of the temple doors. But it was after I had left, that changed my life.
I had decided to stay and read my scriptures since it was warm, and I walked around to the back, where it is quiet and there is no traffic from coming in and out of the temple doors. My mind had once again traveled back to my patriarchal blessing, and all of the things I wanted answers to, so I began to pray. Right there in plain sight, I began to pray out loud to drown out the voices in my head. After what was about 20 minutes of intense prayer and conversation with my Father in Heaven, I got back into my car. A feeling of comfort came over me, and something just told me not to worry, that all the things I had been praying for, was heard, and would be answered.
I look back on my patriarchal blessing and I read it over and over. Every single thing I had asked about, was answered through my blessing. No one besides God knew what I was praying for, and no one knew the desires of my heart like God. It was because of that prayer, at the temple, that I was able to clearly and specifically ask Heavenly Father those things, and He listened. He always listens. Things were said in my blessing pertaining to things I do and pray for on a daily basis, things no one else knows. I am so mind boggled, but I choose not to question heavenly Fathers ways.
I realize now that the temple is there for so many reasons, one of which is for our spirits to grow close with our Heavenly Father, and come to him in times of need. It is a place that is clean, holy, and un-defiled, just like God intended. Its a place to receive revelation, peace, answers.... It is home. I need the temple. It is the only place I can abundantly feel the spirit, help so many people, and still help my self at the same time.
I have such a testimony of regular temple attendance It is a commandment. It is necessary, and it is important. It is a place of refuge, a place of learning.... It is my favorite place in the whole world. I know that the temple is there for us to find peace, and to find answers. It is there for us to feel Gods love. It is a holy place; the house of the Lord. I love the temple!
I haven't been able to go to the temple yet this week, so I feel that extra urge to share a story that always reminds me of Gods love, and the importance of the temple.
Just a few days before I received my patriarchal blessing, I was feeling nervous and anxious. I did not know what to expect, and I was excited to receive the answers and guidance I was praying so diligently for. I had been praying for comfort, and for ways to make me feel less anxious about my blessing, and I also had been praying for things that I thought weren't even making their way to God's ears. I wanted confirmation that He does listen, and He does answer.
I had been getting promptings for a couple days to call the temple and tell them I was coming, but I was ignoring them. I had no gas in the car to make the 20 mile trip, no money to fill it up, nor did I think I had the time. Then, as I was standing in the line to pay for my things at Khols, a voice came to me really loud, and it was not my voice, telling me "Go to the temple." I just shook my head to myself like, whoa that was weird... and went on with other things flooding my head. Just a few seconds later the voice came again, "Go to the temple." I was thinking to myself all the reasons I shouldn't go, and once again ignored the prompting. I was next in line to pay for my things, and the voice came again, and this time it practically yelled at me. "GO TO THE TEMPLE!!" So, I looked at the cashier loading a bunch of stuff from the person in front of me, and decided I could call and see if anything was open. Sure enough they had one spot at 3:00. I agreed I would be there, and rushed out of khols to go home and change. Its about a 36 minute drive to get to the temple from my apartment, and I was 15 extra minutes away where I was shopping. So I stepped on it, praying the whole way and telling Heavenly Father that if He needed me at the temple today, He had to help me make it happen.
By the time I changed into my temple clothes and made it back into my car, it was 2:40. I was feeling even more anxious then before! I just kept praying, and jumped onto the highway. Then, my gas light turns on. Feeling a bit frustrated, and wondering why on earth God has the sense of humor He does, I began to pray again, telling Him stopping for gas was not a possibility until after the temple, and that if He needs me at the temple, He needs to help me make this happen. The prayer was answered immediately and I kid you not, the arm ticker thing lifted up, just enough, and the gas light went off. OFF! And let me tell you, the gas light comes on and stays on in this car, it doesn't change its mind. I have never seen it go off unless gas was put into the car, and the timing was just too unreal!
I made it to the temple at 3:06, not too late at all. I walked in, and one of the temple workers said to me "We knew you would be a little late, and something told us not to start without you." I didnt realize at the time, but God communicated with them, and was watching my back. It blows my mind when I think back to the look on the guys face when He told me this. He received a promoting from the spirit, telling him to hold off starting the session until I arrived, and he was just as shocked as I was when the gas light went off; there was a reason I was at the temple that day.
Nothing out of the norm happened at the temple that day. We did our thing, and I reluctantly walked out of the temple doors. But it was after I had left, that changed my life.
I had decided to stay and read my scriptures since it was warm, and I walked around to the back, where it is quiet and there is no traffic from coming in and out of the temple doors. My mind had once again traveled back to my patriarchal blessing, and all of the things I wanted answers to, so I began to pray. Right there in plain sight, I began to pray out loud to drown out the voices in my head. After what was about 20 minutes of intense prayer and conversation with my Father in Heaven, I got back into my car. A feeling of comfort came over me, and something just told me not to worry, that all the things I had been praying for, was heard, and would be answered.
I look back on my patriarchal blessing and I read it over and over. Every single thing I had asked about, was answered through my blessing. No one besides God knew what I was praying for, and no one knew the desires of my heart like God. It was because of that prayer, at the temple, that I was able to clearly and specifically ask Heavenly Father those things, and He listened. He always listens. Things were said in my blessing pertaining to things I do and pray for on a daily basis, things no one else knows. I am so mind boggled, but I choose not to question heavenly Fathers ways.
I realize now that the temple is there for so many reasons, one of which is for our spirits to grow close with our Heavenly Father, and come to him in times of need. It is a place that is clean, holy, and un-defiled, just like God intended. Its a place to receive revelation, peace, answers.... It is home. I need the temple. It is the only place I can abundantly feel the spirit, help so many people, and still help my self at the same time.
I have such a testimony of regular temple attendance It is a commandment. It is necessary, and it is important. It is a place of refuge, a place of learning.... It is my favorite place in the whole world. I know that the temple is there for us to find peace, and to find answers. It is there for us to feel Gods love. It is a holy place; the house of the Lord. I love the temple!
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