I need prayers.

I have been contemplating when I will make myself available for a mission. Between school, work, and financial things that are keeping me from moving forward, I have been really stressing about when is right to leave.
I came to the conclusion that April 1st is really the soonest I will be available to go, because I pay the last month of rent on my lease March 5th. I have from that week until April 1st to move my mom into a one bedroom apartment that she can afford, or find someone to move into my room and rent it out and help my mom pay the rent.

I am all about deadlines. I need to know how long I have to do something, and when it needs to be done. So, I did the research. According to lds.org, I can submit my paperwork 120 days prior to my availability date, which puts the submission of my mission papers to SLC on December 2nd, 2013. This is the soonest I can submit my papers. If December is when I submit them, then November is when I start preparing them. If all goes according to my plan, I will have received a call by the middle of January, and be gone by the end of April.

So lets just lay this out here.

November 10th (give or take) - Prepare the papers. Get all medical stuff finished by
December 10th - I Submit my missionary recommendation papers into Salt lake City
(giving myself a few extra days to make sure all my interviews are in order)
January 31st- Assuming it takes a little longer than normal due to the huge wave of missionaries, I will hopefully have received a call by this time.
February 23rd- One year as a member. I prepare for the temple any day now!
Hopefully come April I will be in the MTC.

In this small time frame I need to pay off my school loan, a traffic ticket, move, get all my clothing and everything that is necessary for an 18 month mission, fix the alternator in my car that went out on Sunday... I am no where near any of these goals financially, but I know I need to go on a mission.
I have been blessed with friends who are willing to help fund the mission, and a chance to make some money to pay off my school loan in February. But what about my car?  without a car I cant attend the mission prep classes, or my meetings for school. What about moving? A year ago we couldn't find an affordable place to go that would take my mom with her credit, how will I have any luck now????


STRESSED does not even begin to describe how I feel right now.

I have been trying to get in some photography sessions, but no one wants to book me. That would be a great and rewarding way to earn some money.

come to find out someone who is new to the photography field, has been bashing me on her facebook, and lots of people have canceled their appointments with me to go to her. I knew this girl briefly in MIDDLE SCHOOL....
When girls older than you, who are married and have children act that way its quiet astonishing. But that is beyond the point. She is taking people who might be willing to help me out, by being unnecessarily mean.

I have been working my butt off at work, trying to be made full time or to earn extra hours, but my boss knows I am preparing to serve a mission, and rumor has it he is not sure what to do with me. Does he let me work as much as I can until I leave? Or does he let me go now, so he can get someone in who is going to stay. Getting extra time seems rather pointless, but I am trying so hard.

I have been praying really hard, keeping my eyes open to options, but so far have seen nothing. So many things are piling up at one time, I can feel the adversary using everything he has got to keep me from going. I refuse to put off serving a mission. Plain and simple. But where do I begin?
I thought I had a plan, and then the car broke down. And my hours started to look whimsy. I have became desperate, crying on my knees EVERY NIGHT praying that some miracle will work its way into my busy life.

I am basically writing this post to rant. I am frustrated, but remaining faithful. I am sad that this is so hard, but that is the proof that I am going where the Lord needs me. Life is not easy. Christ didn't have it easy, why would I have it easy?

I need prayers.

I need help.

I am drowning in this crazy mess. I have no way to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now.
Perhaps I am being dramatic, or have been overlooking the answers. I have no idea at this point.

All I know is that I need to serve a mission. It needs to happen soon!

Please pray.